Hear it comes again – Valentine’s Day. The day Hallmark seems to set-aside every year to torture the single.
But you can survive the day – just as you survived the divorce. Here are some practical (and often humorous) tips from the blog FirstWivesWorld.com. [Though the blog is geared toward women, everyone can benefit from this sage advice.]
- Make Sure You Are Prepared: There will be prying eyes and personal questions from your friends and coworkers about plans you may have for your first Valentine’s Day alone. Have an answer for them, even if it is “no comment.”
- Don’t Get Dressed Up: It just invites the prying questions listed above.
- Read a Book: Preferably read a book in which people who fall in love come to a bad end. Most Shakespeare novels will do. Avoid books that end with lovers living “happily ever after.”
- Avoid the Media: Whether it is TV, radio of the Internet, mainstream media will be filled with soapy love stories and movies. This is just another reason to follow Tip No. 3: “Read a Book.”
- Buy Yourself Chocolate: Any day is a good day to buy some chocolate, but you can skip the overpriced heart-shaped box.
- Don’t Buy Flowers: Flowers are always over-priced during the holidays. You will be better off waiting a week or two.
- Avoid Places Designed for Couples: Cozy restaurants are a no-no. Crowded nightclubs, even shopping centers, are a better bet.
- Don’t Hook Up with A Stranger: You’ll regret it in the morning, and it’ll make future Valentine’s Days even harder to handle.
- Remember It’s Just One Day: If you’ve gone through a divorce, you’ve faced even greater hardship than the “love barrage” of Valentine’s Day. Shut your door, turn off all media, eat what you love, read a good book, etc. It will all be over in the morning.
- Remember Why You Got Divorced: For whatever reason, your marriage didn’t work out and that’s ok. Look toward the future. There are better days ahead.
Divorce Magazine takes a longer – and perhaps more serious look at the issue. Its editors suggest five tips for surviving Valentine’s Day this year and in the future.
- Accept That Divorce Changes You: The sooner you accept that you are not the same person you were before the divorce, the sooner you can experience the opportunities for growth and renewal that come from even the most devastating of circumstances. Nothing is gained from holding onto bitterness.
- Learn From Your Divorce: Learn from the experience – both good and bad – so that your next relationship is stronger, and future Valentine’s Days are more joyful.
- Get Back in the Game: It may take several months or several years, but don’t wait until you have no fears of reentering the dating pool. Eventually, you must take the leap. If you are too afraid to go it alone, join a dating service that caters to divorced people or join a support group.
- Consider Professional Help: If you do your best to survive Valentine’s Day and just can’t get over your depression, seek help. If family, friends, books (online or in print) and support groups aren’t enough, seek professional help from a therapist who has experience helping people rebuild after divorce and other traumatic experiences.
- Enjoy Being Single: Many people enjoy the freedom and opportunities that come with being single. Don’t see this point in your life as “between relationships”; see it as an opportunity to get to know yourself better and indulge yourself a bit.
Finding a Divorce Attorney in San Diego
If you find yourself faced with divorce and need professional, compassionate advice on how to handle this difficult time, please call The Edmunds Law Firm at (800) 431-2526, or fill out the contact form on our website. We have over 33 years of experience handling a variety of complicated family law cases in California.