Divorce Help for Men
If you are a man facing divorce, don’t underestimate how tough it’s going to be going through it; it can actually take some time for the reality to sink in. You are going to be separated from the partner you once loved, there will be financial issues, you could lose your home and even your children. No doubt this will have emotional and financial repercussions for some time to come. The following advice for divorcing men will be invaluable.
There’s also no debate the the court system treats men and women differently. It’s imperative that you seek professional counsel to avoid the pitfalls that await you. Following are some tips to help you through this devastating time.
1) Seek out a divorce lawyer for men.
Don’t be lulled by her comments that she wants an amicable divorce or she wants to be fair. If she filed for divorce she’s been thinking about it for awhile and you’re playing catch up. Whether she has said it or not she’s already figured out what she wants to leave the relationship with. You need to know your financial exposure, what are the custody issues in your state, what will alimony or child support look like, what about the house and more. Even if you think there is a chance of reconciliation don’t put this off. If you reconcile, no harm no foul but if you do divorce you want a game plan. Make sure your lawyer has experience in divorce cases and that he/she is licensed in your state.
2. Seek out a counselor familiar with the issues of divorcing men.
Divorce is never inevitable. Sometimes it’s just a gut reaction to events or unresoved issues that may have simmered for years and are just now blowing up. If at all possible get your wife to go along but, if she won’t, it’s still advisable for you to go to get some perspective. If you love your wife, don’t give up without a fight. Even if it’s your fault forgiveness and reconciliation is always an option. But once proceedings start it will be all but impossible to stop.
3. Do some research on your wife and keep good notes.
Be careful wearing you heart on your sleeve and posting everything on Facebook or other social media as you can bet she’ll be reviewing all your web history to find something on you, if she doesn’t already. Of course the opposite is true as well and if you suspect her of something search the web history, social media posts etc and not everything. Be prepared to answer what happened when and what time and under what circumstances. Your lawyer should be able to counsel you as to what information you should be trying to find and note. Each state is different as to what emphasis will be placed on what information. But winning depends on preparation.
4. Record things as appropriate:
- written notes
- video of household items or her activities
- scan or copy important documents
- copy emails, posts etc and print out
- record phone conversations if significant
5. As a divorcing man, it may be difficult, but try to remain calm.
Tension should be expected but blowing up and being violent, breaking things, being vindictive will hurt your cause and cost you in the long run. Even an amicable divorce can have heated moments that will raise your blood pressure to the boiling point. Remember if you’re recording phone calls, she may be as well and you don’t want a tape showing up of you cursing and threatening over the phone, via email, in letters or any other fashion. Just take a deep breath and walk away when the tension rises.
The above divorce advice for men will help if you’ll just follow it.
If you are ready to talk to a divorce lawyer, the experienced divorce lawyers of Edmunds Law Firm will be able to give you, as a man, the advice you need to hear so you’ll know what actions to take to protect yourself. Contact us today!